an appropriate definition.

So you know:
Manipulative, adj.
Exercising control or influence over others esp. in a malign, devious, or underhand way.

ex: The blonde woman, her again, in the middle, in the crux of the problem, distraction. When she speaks to you, you are the only one in the room. But sometimes you become aware of her wandering eyes, waiting for someone else to talk to, to use. She tells you only what you want to hear. Laughing, wondering how far she can push/pull, until you will realize what she is doing. Some people never do.

"The manipulative and the declarative are the twin incentives by which the development of language is fostered in the child, and remain the essential functions of language in society." M. M. LEWIS Lang. in Society i. 24 from oed.com