Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Suspended Animation // Circular Thought Processes

To be in suspended animation: life processes slowed, without being terminated, by external forces. The process of ideas slowed, without being terminated. The process of making decisions, slowed, without being terminated. 

There are no insights to offer, no stellar advice, no directions to follow. Or there are directions, I just don't know how to follow them. I don't have the right key, and I'm struggling not to fall into metaphor.

I am not sure about the motivation/functioning/forcing. If there is no clear beginning, how to begin in the first place, at the beginning? You say to begin in the middle, and lay out the path for me. But then we can't agree on how to move forward.

Abstractions to build a wall, distractions from the actual thing. Wondering how obvious to make the entrance, or allow you to enter in.

I don't understand why we can't have a conversation about this. We're coming from the same place, it doesn't have to be an argument. I'm just as confused as you are. And equally frustrated.

The test is to push through where others would falter and quit. It's not whether you have the dream or passion or not; it's whether you follow through with it, taking it further than the rest.

Too many different ways to go, and none looking promising. Well, at least not the one that I want to look promising.

Is the opposite of suspended animation resurrection? Or is it just forward momentum? 

Fragmentary thoughts leading in fragmented direction // cold feet // city of knots. Pop up advertisement: if you died today // who would take care of your family // ? // playing with lines // feelings twisted in my stomach // a rambling migraine // first right eye, then left // waiting for the phone to ring // rambling // rambling // rambling //

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Words/Definitions/Sparkling Things

Which definition of languish is more appropriate for a blog?
-To fail to make progress or be successful - or -
-Suffer from being forced to remain in an unpleasant place or situation - that being the Internets, dear readers. Maybe here I'm referring more to the words, not the blog. Oh well.

Have you read The Professor and the Madman: A Tale of Murder, Insanity, and the Making of the Oxford English Dictionary by Simon Winchester? No? You should. Really. The book came out a few years ago, but I only recently had the pleasure to read it. It's very well-written, and the story (true story!) is incredible. I mean, if you like words/dictionaries/defining things. One of the most prolific contributors to the first edition of the dictionary was an incarcerated murderer/madmen; the author can't definitively say for certain why he went mad, but one of the postulates is that he was traumatized from his time as a doctor in the Civil War, forced to brand deserters with a hot iron. It's really a tragic, touching story.

I love words/dictionaries/defining things. Growing up, my mother had a copy of the Compact Edition of the OED, complete with mini microscope to aid in reading the tiny, tiny print. I admit I didn't make as much use of it as I should have -- but it was a treasure.

Dismantling words, too. Misuse/abuse. Rhyming, spinning, sparkling things.

Sunday, June 19, 2011

The Revisionist's Dream II

She dreamed and the dream was of language. She dreamt
words had yellow wings, had a thousand delicate fingers,
had big tusks, had balls - that their mutable voices rose
from some distance and carried to her on a blue wind. No.
She dreamed of water. She dreamed of a single bright leaf
tangled in a dark stream. She did. But you can't take
her literally, and the story changes all the time.
-Renée Ashley

Saturday, June 18, 2011

something after a temporary halt

to resume. a space for critical thinking // cracked glass
glueing the city back together
i have decided to forsake, momentarily, capitalization here.

something meaningful, and full of meaning, from someone not me:
Any form of thought whatever requires a preparation by emptying one’s mind. You have to lance the cumulative abscess, since we know too much about everything. And there is nothing better than mindless diversions to rid us of that deadweight that crushes thought. Nothing like a good bout of obsessive gymnastics to dispel received ideas. The preparatives for thought are as mysterious as the preparatives for anger. - Jean Baudrillard
writing = thought // -distraction +mental stretching // incomplete equation
resuming a space for this preparative
hopefully you'll do some somersaults too

there are also older poems in past issues of online journals that i never posted about. read them:

Spiral Orb One - Window Conversation

to be continued...