Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Suspended Animation // Circular Thought Processes

To be in suspended animation: life processes slowed, without being terminated, by external forces. The process of ideas slowed, without being terminated. The process of making decisions, slowed, without being terminated. 

There are no insights to offer, no stellar advice, no directions to follow. Or there are directions, I just don't know how to follow them. I don't have the right key, and I'm struggling not to fall into metaphor.

I am not sure about the motivation/functioning/forcing. If there is no clear beginning, how to begin in the first place, at the beginning? You say to begin in the middle, and lay out the path for me. But then we can't agree on how to move forward.

Abstractions to build a wall, distractions from the actual thing. Wondering how obvious to make the entrance, or allow you to enter in.

I don't understand why we can't have a conversation about this. We're coming from the same place, it doesn't have to be an argument. I'm just as confused as you are. And equally frustrated.

The test is to push through where others would falter and quit. It's not whether you have the dream or passion or not; it's whether you follow through with it, taking it further than the rest.

Too many different ways to go, and none looking promising. Well, at least not the one that I want to look promising.

Is the opposite of suspended animation resurrection? Or is it just forward momentum? 

Fragmentary thoughts leading in fragmented direction // cold feet // city of knots. Pop up advertisement: if you died today // who would take care of your family // ? // playing with lines // feelings twisted in my stomach // a rambling migraine // first right eye, then left // waiting for the phone to ring // rambling // rambling // rambling //